FAQ

So...maybe you've never been to a bar or bat mitzvah.  Quite a few of you, we know have not.  And you may have questions.  I'm going to try to answer as many as I can here, and if there's more...please feel free to ask!

I GOT MY INVITATION, BUT I'M NOT SURE WHO IS INVITED?

The names of the invitees are listed on the outer envelope.  

WHAT IS A BAR MITZVAH?
At 13, a young Jewish man or woman becomes obligated to observe the commandments of Judaism. "Bar/bat mitzvah" literally means "son/daughter of the commandments." The celebration of a bar/bat mitzvah signifies that the young man or woman is beginning and will continue to function as an active and responsible Jew in the synagogue and in the wider Jewish community.

WHAT DO I WEAR?

Attire for adults and children in the synagogue should be appropriate and modest. Boys should wear dress pants, dress shoes, and a dress shirt.   Girls should dress modestly; dresses are proper as long as they don’t show a lot of skin, by either being too short or by being strapless and sleeveless.

Attire at the evening celebration should be clothing that would be worn to an evening wedding.   Dress shirts, shoes and pants for boys, and party dresses for girls are appropriate.  No jeans, sneakers or shorts, please. 

DO I HAVE TO COME TO BOTH THE SERVICE AND THE PARTY?

Attendance at both events is appropriate and respectful.  Lucas has worked for quite a few years to achieve this status, studying long hours, spending many a Sunday at religious school rather than sleeping in, as well as his Wednesday evenings and is proud to demonstrate his skills and knowledge. He is excited to share this special time with all of you.

WHAT TIME TO I PICK UP MY CHILD?  

The Saturday morning service is open to everyone, and will run approximately 2 hours.  There will be a light lunch for attendees.  So if you are planning to drop your child off for the service and not stay, you should plan to return about 12:15 to pick him or her up.  

For the party, please plan to pick up your child by 11:00 pm.

WILL I BE EXPECTED TO DO ANYTHING AT THE SERVICE?

No, other than be respectful of the religious service and customs.  The Rabbi will walk everyone through how the process works, so you will be able to follow along with the prayer book.  Please respect the requests to rise and sit as directed.  There will be opportunities to sing prayers, and if you know the words, sing along, if you don't, no worries - but just know that's not a time to check your cell phone.  Some of you will be asked to participate in other ways during the service, but no one will put you on the spot - you will be notified in advance if you will have a role in teh service.  Also, there is no photography allowed during the service, and your cell phones should be turned off before entering the sanctuary.

WHEN DOES THE SERVICE REALLY BEGIN?

It really begins at 10:00 am.  Please be sure to plan your route to get there on time.  If you do come late, you'll miss the explanation part, if that's something you need.

DO I HAVE TO WEAR A YARMULKE (THE LITTLE HAT)?

While you do not HAVE to wear a yarmulke, it is a sign of respect to wear one, particularly for the boys.  There will be plenty available at the synagogue - many will be brand new, ordered specifically for this event.  Look for the red ones with Lucas' name on them.  It's not a religious signifier - anyone can wear a yarmulke, whether you are Jewish or not, but rather a sign of respect to God and the sacredness of the space - a reminder that there is always something higher than we are.

WILL I UNDERSTAND WHAT'S HAPPENING AT THE SERVICE?

Yes.  Much of the service is in English, though from Lucas you will hear mostly Hebrew.  In the prayer book, you will be able to follow along and even try your hand (or tongue rather) at Hebrew as it is all transliterated for you.

WILL MY CHILD BE DRINKING WINE?

No, they will not.  Children are served grape juice in place of the wine at the conclusion of the ceremony.  Adults are offered either wine or juice.

WHAT HAPPENS BETWEEN THE SERVICE AND THE PARTY?

Whatever you wish. :)  After the kiddush (the light lunch served after the service) guests have the afternoon to relax, catch up on errands, sleep - whatever you would normally do on a Saturday afternoon. Some of us will be prepping for the party, of course!  The party then begins at 7:00 pm at the hotel in Riverview.

WHAT HAPPENS AT THE PARTY?

FUN Party things.  There will be food and music and games and dancing!  A few traditional things will occur, such as dancing the Hora, and a candlelighting ceremony, a prayer or two to kick things off, but then it's just gonna be a heck of a party!

WHERE SHOULD I DROP OFF MY CHILD?

We recommend you park and walk your child into the party.  While we are the only event scheduled in the hotel, and it's not a very large hotel, it will likely make you more comfortable to see your child checked in to the event.  There will be a sign in table where they can "check in".